Transcripts of every announcement and featured thread (not movie night or MATI announcements) that I could find by looking through archives. Last updated 5/29/20.

Legend before 2/24/19: [A] = Announcement [CBS] = Corner box shitpost. Everything else is a featured thread.

Legend after 2/24/19: [CBS] = Corner box shitpost. Everything else is an announcement.

Note: Some dates may be off, especially for featured threads. Note2: Some links are broken. Note3: One of my sources was the old featured threads archive the site kept, but it only shows and dates them by their OPs, so if a thread only got featured for a specific hillarious moment then I'd have no idea. I copied provided context whenever I could find it. Note4: I included some of Null's shitposting in the corner box when it had text or links to KF threads. I probably should have grabbed videos too, oh well. Note5: I don't see any featured threads on the frontpage between Febuary 2017 and April 2018 or before March 2015 but they still exist and have been/will be included.

Comment in this thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiwi-farms-history.61381/